ITS NOT HOW GOOD YOU ARE, ITS HOW GOOD YOU WANT TO BE

This time last year I was ready to give up. I was working my ass off but felt like I was getting nowhere..

Everyone else around me seemed to be making progress with their chosen careers and I was simply stuck. Working in a children's home full-time and trying to blog full-time was draining and hard and although I loved my job, I couldn't help but think creating content & being a 'blogger' (I use that term lightly lol) was all I wanted to do. I somewhat felt it as a calling? I knew deep down that I was supposed to help people and use my voice for the greater good, I just didn't know how to get there..

I didn't have much money, I had no sponsored work coming in & I had very little opportunities within the blogging community. I'd been on the scene since 2011 but I felt like (I still do) that I was an outsider, like other bloggers didn't want to be friends with me & it just kinda sucked. I felt lost, confused and isolated but a shift in mindset, shifted my entire life..

Generally, I'm a positive person, a dreamer if you wish so its easy for me to tell myself 'its going to be okay'. I was sick of feeling down, sick of working and getting nothing back and I'd just had enough of feeling like I wasn't good enough. Truth is, and this is for everyone, if you work hard, if you believe in yourself and if you're true to you, you can make anything happen. Baby girl you are more than good enough.

I told myself time and time again that if its meant to be it will happen. I brushed away negative thoughts and I forgot how tired I was and I pressed on. I worked hard every single day. I planned content, I made content. I attended events, I reached out to brands. I stayed up to date with my emails and I became increasingly active on social media. I put myself out there and became even more transparent with real life issues. I grew into the person I wish I had around me when I was growing up and I believed in myself. I believed in my goals and I believed that if I wanted to be something I could. 

I used to look at other bloggers and wish to be them. I not only wished to look like them (not anymore because I'm f***ing buff babes) but I wished to have their lives. Rumours went round about how much money some bloggers were making and there was me in my overdraft with credit card debt too. They were travelling the world (for free with brands) and I was contemplating what new pjs to buy from Primark. Why couldn't that be me? Why couldn't I wake up when I wanted too? Why couldn't I win awards? Why couldn't I be in magazines? Am I too urban? Am I too fat? Am I too black?

Enough was enough, wallowing in self pity was shit and I was even starting to annoy myself. I remembered how bad I wanted it, how hungry I was to succeed and I did not have time to compare myself to others when I could never be them and they could never be me. Nothing was going to stop me. Not my background, not how I looked.. NOTHING. I might not be the best, but I'm the best version of Grace.

 I was about to make the world see just what I saw in me.

A year later, oh how things have changed. Not only has my content improved, my social accounts have grown & I am completely and utterly happy with everything in my life. I've now won an award, I have management and a PR, I've had an entire article written about me on The Daily Mail and I've finally made my way into TV. I genuinely have to pinch myself some days because I cannot believe how much has changed. I think finding yourself personally also plays a huge part in the timing of finding yourself professionally. Success comes at the right time and its important to trust your journey - everything will happen when its supposed to!

I didn't want this post to come across as ME ME ME, but to come across as, you can fucking do it, just don't give up. I was seriously down about how my life was going but now I am honestly on top of the world. I found what inspired me and I clung onto it for dear life. Whatever it is you're trying to do, you can honestly do it. A little a lot of self belief, a gigantic box of hard work and drive & determination will get you to places you've once dreamed about. You become what you think & you attract your own thoughts. Have confidence girl and own it.

Focus on whats important to you and be so concerned with that, you cant even see negativity. Pour everything you can into bettering your future and its simple, you'll better it.

Its not how good you are, its how good you want to be. (A great read)

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