HOW TO KNOW WHEN ITS TIME TO SLOW DOWN

This post is sponsored by Nike via RewardStyle.

We are lucky enough to live in a fast paced society full of opportunities. Social media has opened up new jobs and incredible chances for young millennials - especially women, and I am proud to say that I am one of them. I see so many of us, doing wonderful things that it definitely inspires me to work even harder. 

I don't know about you but I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed. If I'm not being productive and on my A game, I think I'm failing or falling behind - whilst everyone else is charging in front of me. 

I know I'm doing well and all my hard work is paying off and hopefully (fingers crossed) my career will continue to go on the up. However one thing I've learnt is that, with success comes great burdens and one of those burdens is 'burning out'. As a society, we are more stressed and anxious than ever. A lot of us don't get enough sleep and don't take enough time out to just be. There is a misconception that slowing down means you are hindering your success and spending time to practice self care, means you're selfish (it isn't).

So what happens when everything gets too much? How do we know when we should stopping saying yes and start saying no? When do we take time off? 

Well, I'm going to tell you.

Leggings - NIKE | Top - NIKE | Cardigan - NIKE | Trainers - NIKE

You can't remember when you did something nice for yourself. Its so important to do stuff that makes you happy, other than work of course. For me, its getting out and about - shopping, treating myself to my favourite breakfast (scrambled eggs on toast with a side of bacon FYI) and indulging in either a massage or a pedicure (sometimes even both). If you follow me on Twitter, you'd know that I'm actually pretty unwell at the moment. I ignored my body and mind when it was telling me to slow down and then I became completely rundown which resulted in getting the worst.cold.ever. So I decided to take a week off work, for the most part I stayed in to rest, but on the weekend - I headed to the shops. With the help of Nike & their new Black & White Collection that is size inclusive, might I add (go Nike). I was comfortable yet stylish. Flu who? Not me!

Nike are a brand I've been wearing since I could probably walk and I'm so so happy that they've decided to extend their sizes to fit the bigger girl (aka me lol), but without compromising on style or the classic Nike branding. When it comes to shopping or running errands, comfort for me is absolutely key - leggings, trainers and a warm piece of outerwear is my uniform. 

You can shop the entire Black & White Collection here. Also, how sick are these trainers?

You're not getting enough sleep or staying asleep. Having difficulty getting shut eye, is a really obvious sign for me to slow down and take some time off. My usual sleep pattern is 11pm - 7am but when I'm overworked, I just can't switch off. Have you ever scrolled through Twitter until 2am, your eyes are stinging but you can't go to bloody bed? I have lol. Then I'm unproductive the next day, moody and tired. Not cool maaaan.

You keep forgetting things. In one week I left my bank card and oyster at home TWICE, whilst having an entire day in Central London of back to back meetings. WHO DOES THAT LOL? I had to order food on UberEats which is hella expensive and I just felt like I didn't have my shit together. My brain just doesn't function when it has too much to process.

Your health isn't like it used to be. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm super unwell at the moment and I never usually get sick. A few days ago I sneezed and snot landed on my lip (tmi I know) lol. My immune system just cannot fight off infections when I'm stressed and for some people, they even get reoccurring cold sores or headaches. Rubbish!

You can't turn switch off after work. Have you ever felt like you have 10,000 thoughts running through your head and no matter what you do, you can't silence them? Same!

If you're feeling any of the above, then you might want to slow down. Not necessarily taking an entire week off, but maybe a day or the weekend. I guess just try and be more mindful of your health and the importance of self care and taking time out to recuperate. Time off won't slow you down, it actually does the opposite. You'll find that making brain space and allowing your body to rest, enables you to do more. You'll have the energy and mental capacity to think more and do more.

Photography by JKG | jkgphotography.co.uk

Some stuff to do when you slow down

Have a bath. Light some candles. Treat yourself to new clothes. Get a massage. Get a facial. Have your favourite breakfast. Get cocktails with your girls. Netflix and chill. Netflix and no chill lol. Spend a weekend at a spa. Bake chocolate fudge brownies. Lay in a blanket and listen to music. Draw. Read. Get a haircut. Watch Harry Potter. Spend the entire day in your pjs. Place an ASOS order. Check in with loved ones. Treat yourself to some new sports wear from NIKE ;)

This post is sponsored by Nike via RewardStyle.

7 WAYS TO LOOK AFTER YOUR BLOG BEHIND THE SCENES

 

There comes a time in every bloggers life where the dreaded 'bloggers block' kicks in. Its happened to me quite a few times over the past few years and I think its fair to say - its annoying af.

Although my mind is buzzing with content at the moment, I'm unwell (with the flu - I swear I'm dying lol) and I'm a teeny bit stressed, so when I sit down to create I simply can't execute my ideas.

I'm posting once, maybe twice a week, which in my mind is shit. I have flat lays ready, outfit photos stored and a long ass list of blog titles, but for whatever reason my productivity with posting is at an all time low.

However, whilst wrapped in a blanket, with snotty toilet roll next to me, Big Bang Theory on in the background and my trusty Macbook on my lap, I realised that although I think I'm slacking in the blogging department, I am in fact working behind the scenes.

Here's what I recommend to do..

Shearling Oversized Coat - MONKI (similar linked)

Khaki Top - MISSGUIDED (similar linked) | Leather Joggers -  ASOS (similar linked)  

Black Fishnet Socks - ASOS | Trainers - ADIDAS Superstars (similar linked)

Photography by JKG | jkgphotography.co.uk

Update your about me section. Lets face it, we all like to talk about ourselves, and your 'about me' section is the perfect place to big yourself up. You're selling your brand after all! Its also a nice chance to think about how you want to position yourself in the wonderful, crazy world of blogging. What are you into? What have you achieved? Why did you start a blog? Take a look at my 'about me' section here if you need some 'biggin yoself up' inspo.

Introduce yourself to new PRs & brands. I know a lot of bloggers don't like to introduce themselves to brands, but I actually think its really welcoming and can be beneficial. Obvs don't introduce yourself and ask for freebies, but reaching out to brands you love so that you are on their radar, is actually v. business minded. Building relationships in blogging is important to me and I think more bloggers should do it. I recently reached out to the New Look PR team, just to say hey and to arrange breakfast (breakfast dates are the best dates) and not only did they come back to me with a date for brekkie, they also offered me a monthly instagram campaign. PAID!

Create or update your 'shop'. Having shopable pages is a simple way to generate a little more commission and to enable your readers to shop your wardrobe or wishlists easily. I know when I go on to anyone's blog, I head straight to their 'advice' sections or their 'shops'. I like to be inspired the most in those departments and if you've noticed - I also like to inspire you guys in those departments too! Readers will quite often want to know what their favourite bloggers are wearing or lusting over, so having a 'shop' page is just a natural progression. With that being said, you can shop my entire wardrobe here.

Plan a future blog design/layout. Now this is where the fun begins. I absolutely love designing and planning a swanky swishy new website. I'm actually working on one at the moment (that's what inspired this post). Depending on how much money you want to spend on a new design, the possibilities are endless. The vision I have for my new website is basically an open diary type blog, with a more professional and shopable feed. Obviously still relatable, inspirational and easy to navigate.

Tidy or re-invent your workspace. Ain't nothin' a little spring cleaning can't fix, especially at this time of year. Etsy, Urban Outfitters and other homeware/office supply stores have so many bargains to be had that can instantly update your workspace, for a fresh new feel. Get on pinterest or instagram and find some inspiration. Oh &, new stationary anyone?

Make a snazzy media kit. This is something I actually have on my 'blogging to do list' but I keep putting it off lol. I have a very bog standard media kit, mainly because I rarely need to use it, because I have management etc etc. But, I still want a snazzy one, because right now mine is a simple word document that probably contains a gazillion spelling mistakes. FYI - your media kit should contain your stats, your achievements, your rates, your previous work and anything else you feel is relevant for brands to know. Shall I do a full post on this? Let me know in the comments.

Reply to emails. The dreaded back log! No matter how hard you try to stay on top of them, they always mount up don't they? If you can't get your words out and you've got zero motivation to do anything else, the least you can do is to reply to your emails. Go get em!

Being unproductive can actually be productive... I think?!

35 PAIRS OF SHOES YOU NEED TO BUY THIS SEASON

 

Shoes available here.

Its Friday and I've got the most horrendous cold (I woke up with snot on my lip FYI). I'm also a complete shoe addict and I don't plan on changing anytime soon. 35 pairs of new shoes isn't that bad, is it?

Definitely NOT haha.

With affordable footwear from places like ASOS, Public Desire & River Island, you can update your shoedrobe, wihout really breaking the bank. 

Happy browsing ladies.

THE BEAUTY OF BEING MIXED RACE

The beauty of being mixed race. An ode to Black History Month and celebrating the two cultures that make me whole.

I'm quite vocal on Twitter about diversity, issues specifically relating to women of colour & the general lack of knowledge when it comes to brown or black skin. Im only really learning about black history and black culture now - which may come as a surprise to you, bearing in mind I'm half black lol. But I've made a conscious decision this year to find who I am and slowly become her. Ignorance and poor education has left me falling short to the truth behind black history and the plight that my ancestors faced. Growing up without much influence from my father (he's Vincentian) I have often lacked information and understanding about that half of me - my Caribbean heritage. 

As a child I obviously knew about Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks & Malcom X, but more recently I am learning about (through social media and books) other incredible people, horrific stories and generally the horrowing truth about the suffering of black people, but more importantly their strength.

So I wanted to share with you guys today, a lighthearted, honest and reflective piece about why I personally love being mixed race. 

Its the roast potatoes and the jerk chicken. Its the smoothness of Billy Ocean and the sadness of Ed Sheeran. Its the way my beige skin can change to caramel, in a matter of hours when the sun hits it. Its the smell of coconut oil and the smell of fish and chips. Its crystal clear waters and the pebbles of Brighton beach. Its solid mac n cheese, because I don't like it in any other form. Its rum, its tea, its everything in between. Its the freckles on my face and the curls upon my head. Its palm trees and fallen leaves. Its my Mum saying BAFF and not BA'R'TH (she's Northern) & its hot pepper sauce on practically everything. Its beaded curtains and all purpose seasoning. Its opening the tub of ice cream, only to find chicken and rice LOL. Its being made to watch Cricket when Blue Peter is on. Its my button nose and my coarse pubic hair. Its being the victim of racism, but also understanding light skin privilege. Its mango, sweet mango. Its cainrows & the pain of brushing out your tangles. Its strength and resiliance, its black power and black pride. Its the curves of my thighs and my deep brown eyes.

Its the freedom to just be me..

Me in both parts.

Me in all parts. 

ACCEPTING WHO I REALLY AM

              

When it comes to acceptance, the usual chat tends to head towards what you look like & learning to accept things like small boobs, saggy boobs, stretch marks & cellulite - the stuff society deems as 'ugly'. I often talk about it myself, with posting body confidence photos on Instagram and talking about my insecurities on various different platforms.

But what about acceptance when it comes to personality & characteristics and everything else thats makes us us, without touching upon our outer exterior? (the shit that really matters)

I rarely see people discussing the acceptance of who they are, whole heartedly. I don't even think until recently I realised the importance of it either.

So thats what I'm going to touch upon today..

Photography by JKG

jkgphotography.co.uk

 NEW LOOK Dress (similar linked)

MISSGUIDED+ Jacket (similar linked)

ASOS Stripey Top

PUBLIC DESIRE Flatforms

CELINE Sunglasses

CELINE Trio Bag

All my life people have just assumed I like partying - I don't. All my life people have just assumed I'm loud and bubbly all the time - I'm not. I could go on, but I think you get the picture? With the constant assumption of peers and people around me, aswell as not really understanding who I am because 1. its a long fucking journey and 2. struggles with mental health issues - I think I've only really just accepted who I am. The real me. The girl that would rather eat chocolate alone in a blanket, than go out and hang with friends. And you know what? I like her.

She's pretty damn cool lol.

I guess I've always pushed against who I really am. When I was younger I wanted to live up to everyone else's expectations of me. In my 20s, I think I was so busy trying to lose weight or not throw up my food, or pretend to be happy when inside I wanted to die (sounds dramatic but I bet most of you can relate haha) that I didn't really find my true self. I was too concerned with who I thought I wanted to be.

 And then when I did find myself - it fucking scared me.

But therapy has given me, what I can only describe as 'a new pair of glasses so that I can see clearly'. Its enabled me to accept my past so that I can move on and in doing so, I've changed. Although I don't think its true change, more like just becoming the person I should have always been. Does that make sense?

I hope it does.

Ive recently realised that I'm an introvert - albeit a confident, outspoken introvert, but who the fuck knew? I also don't like alcohol, unless its in the form of a cocktail because sugar, obvs. I like water, open water to be exact - it doesn't scare me, it excites me. I enjoy colouring and reading and watching documentaries on true crime or difficult kids. I don't care for the Kardashians and as much as I love contour, I like being bare faced more. I don't like being surrounded by people, especially people I don't know. I also don't like small talk - I'd rather the silence. I listen to sad songs that a lot of my friends call 'depressing music' - I guess I like music that moves me, that makes me feel something. I absolutely hate religion, but I love spirituality - to me, they are totally different things. Im not tidy, my enviornment reflects my mind, but I think I find peace within the chaos. I have an old soul with the heart of a small child, oh and I fucking hate salads (unless its a chicken ceaser covered in dressing and croutons). I cry at everything and I don't know why. The world can be so hard, but yet I remain so soft. I trust a handful of people but I treat everyone like they're a friend. I struggle to initiate sex - that sorry sod REJECTION! Im vulnerable, so so vulnerable, but I also think I'm incredibly strong. I love orange squash (I might have a mild addiction but hey ho haha) and I find it extremely difficult to make real friends. I like money which some people think is a negative trait, but for me - it motivates me to get out of bed in the morning and it hasn't lead my wrong thus far. I have a diffuclt relationship with my Mum, but she is the one person I will forever try to protect. I may know the correct answer, but I'll be the last to raise my mind. I enjoy learning, infact - I crave it. Rough around the edges & cannot be tamed. Mindful of opinions but still outspoken. Impatient. Honest - maybe a little too much. Understanding and curious. Passionate but hesitant. Wary but wild. An extremely happy person but with a foundation of sadness.

Admitting I'm not the person I once was has been really hard, but also completely awakening. Although theres lots of aspects of me I still need to learn to accept, the parts I've already accepted have given me an added confidence that I never knew possible. Im grateful, so fucking grateful.

I don't want to fight against myself anymore to fit in & to be liked, or because its easier pretending to be someone else. I've wasted so much time and energy on trying to mould myself into someone I thought I should be, so its now time to invest in the person I actually am.

This is me, the real me. And you know what? I like her.

Who are you?

25 IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS YOU WILL ONLY LEARN IN YOURS TWENTIES

So its Feb already? HOW? HOW? I don't understand lol. (panic is now setting in that I've not done half the stuff I planned to do in January. Shit)

I started the year optimistic, inspired & motivated, but since returning from Mexico, I just can't get my head in the game. I sit down to write and nothing comes out. I attempt to film a video and it doesn't go to plan, but instead of forcing it, I'm just going with it. Thats the main reason there hasn't been much content posted in the last few months - I simply don't have the mental space to hit publish. However, although my blog has fallen by the way side, I am being super productive elsewhere. Im writing a book (still can't believe it) and I'm working on lots of other bits and bobs that nobody sees on social media so its fine.

Its all going to be fine.

I think.

With that being said, its Monday, the start of a new week and I was out of bed before 9am so yay me. (An achievement within itself because I'm so tired at the moment sleeping in until 11am is legit feasible). My cleaner is here (soz Mum) and Jeremy Kyle is on in the background which is helping me realise that my life isn't that bad AT ALL lol. Incense is burning and an ice cold glass of water with my favourite straw is next to me.

Lets do this. Lets talk about life lessons..

I've heard from my older, wiser friends that when you hit yours 30s, things calm down. You stop being so insecure,  you can drink large amounts of wine and people don't judge you (well, they might) AND, you stop changing - you accept who you are and you sort of, find yourself.

When its put like that, turning 30 doesn't seem so bad.

But there are life lessons and things you learn that only really happen in yours 20s. I think your 20s are definitely the hardest years because none of us really know what we're doing and figuring out pretty much every aspect of ourselves and our lives can be draining.

So I hope this list gives you solidarity and a belly full of laughs.

1. Love Fucking Hurts
Most of us have fallen in love AND out of it by our late 20s and you know what? It fucking sucks. It doesn't get easier and heartbreak is something I wouldn't wish on my mortal enemy. Although it takes less time to put down the cake and turn off Toni Braxton - Unbreak My Heart, even as a fully fledged adult, the pain is unbearable.


2. Blow Jobs Are Effort
They are! You can be head over heels in love and enjoy sex more than a porn star but lets keep it real lol, going down on your man is the last thing you wanna do when you're tired from work. Face planting your bed and going to sleep usually seems much more appealing.


3. Some Friends Are Only For Seasons
Friends come and go and as much as we all want a group of amazing, supportive, wonderful, charasmatic women around us - that doesn't always happen. Some people only have 3 or 4 real friends and thats okay. Its better to have a small amount of incredible friends in your life, than a large amount of friends who only ever speak to you to offload their problems or to get drunk in Oceana. Quality of quantity! 


4. Its Hard To Save Money
Don't I fucking know it! Its easy to spend £100 on takeaways, £100 on ubers & £100 on ASOS each month because stress, laziness and 'omg I need those ripped jeans, and that cosy hoodie and even those gold earrings, even though I've got 50 pairs just like it'. The price of living also goes up, but your wage remains the same, so as much as you want to buy a house at 27 with a David Beckham lookalike and a cute dog called Spike - you can't. (well maybe you can and if thats you then please teach us all how).


5. You Keep Fucking Up
You spoke to your bestie like shit. You missed your doctors appointment for the 10th time. You can't get your winged liner right AND you forgot your Mum's birthday. Its okay, it will always be okay. Apologise, learn from your mistakes and work on yourself so that you can learn how to get your shit together.


6. Buying Jeans Is Soul Destroying
Nothing ever fits right and even though you're a size 16 in one shop, I can garauntee that you won't be a size 16 in the next. 


7. Stress Is Actually A Real Thing
Who knew? Stress can actually cause sleepless nights, extreme weight gain/weight loss, skin breakouts and an urge to hide from the world, under a duvet with a large bar of Cadburys chocolate.


8. Everyone Pee's In The Shower
Its not just you with that disgusting habit lol!


9. Life Is Too Short, Not To Wear The Bikini
All your life society has made you feel like you have to cover up, you have to hide your body because its not perfect. Society was right - its probably not perfect, but nobody's is & no matter what size you are, you are beautiful and worthy of wearing whatever you want. There is no wrong way to be a woman and wearing a bikini is the only way to get a banging tan (that & being naked).


10. Beyonce Is Still The Best
Nothing has changed from being 12 years old and listening to Destiny's Child. NOTHING. She is still the shit.


11. Hiring A Cleaner Is So Much YAS
No matter how hard you try, you can neve clean like your Mum and its really embarassing to admit that so what do you do? Hire someone who can. Nobody will ever know. Ha!


12. Cereal For Dinner Is Underrated
Seriously. When you can't be bothered to cook OR you've got nothing but milk, mouldy cheese and half an onion in your frigdge, cereal is your safe bet.


13. Travelling Is Good For The Soul
So its better to spend your money on doing things than having things. The world is meant to be explored, & I can gaurantee you've seen every corner of the Topshop website.
 

14. Cooking Is Boring AF
Snoooorreeeeeeeeee. If I could live on McDonalds I would lol.


15. Porn Is Abit Weird
It is! The orgasms are fake, the men dress really old school (oversized trousers and shirts just aren't a thing anymore) and then theres fetishes that make you feel a little uncomfortable. Men dressed as babies? NOT OKAY!


16. Online Banking Is Life Giving
Moving money, checking your dreaded balance and paying bills from the comfort of your own sofa is just amazing.


17. It Doesn't Have To Be Flattering
There is a misconception that whatever you wear, it has to be flattering. IM CURVY AND I DONT LIKE BODYCON DRESSES - I'm just saying. You don't need to wear spanx to suck in your fat & you can wear long dresses if you're short!


18. Talking About Someone Behind Their Back, Makes You Feel Like Shit
We've all done it babes.


19. Spa Days Are Neccessary 
Walking around in a white robe, sipping tea & indulging in a full body massage is one of the best ways to relax and de-stress. Theres also always deal on Groupon & Lastminute!


20. School Didn't Teach You Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
Tax? Black history? (real black history, not the bullshit thats been twisted by white men in suits) Self care? How to love yourself? How to save for a house? WTFFFF.


21. Health Is The Most Important Thing
Especially your mental health. Health comes before boys, careers & everything else. It is detrimental to your happiness.


22. Your Mum Was Right - M&S do do the best knickers
Cotton, black and high leg if you're wandering ;) lol!


23. Policitics Give You Brain Ache
Especially now that a misygonistic, orange faced, racism, bigot PRICK has just become one of the most powerful people in the entire world.


24. You Will Never NOT Have A To-do List
We will all die with 'buy washing up liquid' & 'sort through wardrobes' scribbled in out notepads. So don't fret that you constantly have shit to do. You're not alone.


25. Just Be Yourself
Which is so hard, in a world that judges every ounce of who you are. But just being yourself is more than most people do. You're doing great!

30 ITEMS YOU NEED TO BUY FROM ASOS RIGHT NOW

Being the ASOS addict I am, I thought it was about time I did a little ASOS wishlist. Here are 30 items I'd love in my wardrobe, but also items that I think you guys would love too. Yes, that is a mens giant fluffy hoodie and yes, it is absolutely amazing lol.