DEAR YOUNGER SELF

I was looking through old photographs last week and stumbled across one that literally broke my heart. Although I was 16 in the photo, I really didn't recognise myself. Back then, I was emotionally unstable and hiding a million secrets. I was SO insecure & unhappy, I hated every inch of who I was. I wanted to chop off all my fat and crawl into a hole somewhere. Although I enjoyed school, I was often called names, left out of parties on the weekends and generally a misunderstood little girl. I had know idea what I was doing with makeup or fashion & although I despised how I looked, I didn't feel comfortable or confident enough to ask for help. I never saw an ounce of beauty in myself. 

Year 11, 16 years old, 2006.. Prom year! I had been dreading this for months. Walking around the school grounds, hearing all the 'omg he asked me' and 'we are going to wear matching outfits' stories. I knew I wasn't going to be asked. Although I had many male friends at school - none of them fancied me or thought I was pretty. I just wasn't good enough. Overweight, rocking trainers, frizzy hair and a crazy personality.. Why would anyone want to go to prom with me? The day before the big event, I still hadn't been asked, but it was okay. I had my dress, my vintage car to take me there & a bar of chocolate to keep me company afterwards. It was a blur. I think I was voted 'most likely to be famous' and from that night on I just knew I was going to make something of my life, despite how I looked on the outside.

No matter what has been going on in my life, at any stage.. Success & happiness has always been my saving Grace. At 12 years old my singing teacher told me 'Grace, you know you're a star, you'll get there someday'. I've never forgotten that. I never knew what I was going to do when I was 'older', I just knew I wanted to touch people.. Make them feel something, you know? 

I want this post to show every young girl out there who is crying herself to sleep at night, or cutting herself or debating whether to take her own life that you will feel beautiful one day. School isn't everything & it will soon become a distant memory. We all start somewhere and I guess I am living proof of that. The picture below says it all. So if you're the geek, the fat one or the weird one, don't you even fucking worry & don't you lose any sleep because one day you are going to be feel absolutely beautiful, in every fucking way. 

L - 16 years old, prom night. R - a month ago, VIP at Mike Hough's concert.

So dear younger self. You will grow into your own skin, you will learn how to wear your frizzy hair & you will go on a life long journey of loving yourself. You don't need to hurt yourself & you don't need to shed anymore tears. There is so much more to life than being admired by boys or wanted on the weekends. You have so much to give & one day the world will see you for what you are. You are perfectly imperfect & in a few years time thousands of people will accept you with all of your flaws & still love you anyway. Chin up girl, you have absolutely no clue just how amazing your life will become. Hang in there. Lots of love, me.. 7 years later.

PS - Everyone loves an under-dog. 

SUNDAYS

I have decided to do a lifestyle/personal post every Sunday on my blog. I like getting vulnerable with you guys because it feels like you are genuinely my friends & I know that when I'm bare, it helps so many of you. My "Sundays" will be a mash up of anything and everything but will probably be nothing to do with beauty or fashion. Is that cool? Lets go..

Gym selfie

This week I went back to my exercise classes. I haven't been for months. Life sometimes takes its toll on me & to be honest, when I'm busy, I would rather sleep when I get the time. I haven't been feeling my normal self for the past 3 weeks or so & I've been slipping into low moods on numerous occasions. I can't pin point the exact reasons for my sad feelings but it's been pretty cloudy for me. A few days ago I decided to sit myself down and re-evaluate everything - what I wanted, what I felt, where I was going. Whilst in thought I realised that leading a non exercise lifestyle could explain my blah mood. Exercise is a release of negative feelings for me & it can lift my mood & make me feel good again. My problem is that going to the gym or exercise classes actually causes me anxiety and it takes me a lot of effort to go. I get really jittery thinking about how gross I look exercising and if people see me and stuff - its really silly but my anxiety can sometimes be beyond my control. Anyway, this week I bit the bullet, thought fuck it & went to my favourite Zumba class. My Zumba teacher Mel said she had missed me and welcomed me back.. I was so happy & proud of myself for getting off my ass and going. I thoroughly enjoyed myself & absolutely loved walking out thinking 'I feel good & I've burnt away some sadness'. I am now back to exercising regularly & I am absolutely loving it.

SKINNY RIPS & TANNED SKIN

I landed back in the UK last week from my trip to Vegas & I had so many social events to go too & many catch up dates with friends. I have only just began to feel human again thanks to the bank holiday weekend. Anyway.. I went to my favourite Chinese restaurant with my friend Emma & we had the perfect catch up and gossip. This is the outfit I threw together with the clothes I had left that were actually clean. I hate unpacking so I left it 11 days until I was in desperate need for clothes haha.

Vintage Green & Blue Plaid Shirt | Alternatives | £15.00 - £40.00 

Asos Ripped Skinny Black Jeans | £35.00
Topshop Heels | SOLD OUT | Alternatives | £75.00

Zara City Bag | SOLD OUT

Whats your favourite part of this outfit? Mine is the tan hahaha.

LAS VEGAS PART TWO

 Do not eat here. The food made my auntie really sick & it was GROSS!!

 I paid $10 for this photo LOL.

Doesn't Ryan look AMAZING in drag? 

The man with the tattoo on his arm was DELICIOUS, I was spying on him hahahahaha.

The best part of Vegas for me was being a tourist and obviously shopping. Since starting Youtube I have always wanted to go to Sephora and see what all the hype is about - I did just that, so keep your eyes peeled on my channel for a haul. I became obsessed with frozen lemonade out there, it is so refreshing and sugary. Its probably really bad for you but I don't care haha. Las Vegas is over the top, dramatic & ridiculous - so right up my street.

Have you been to Vegas before? What other places in the US would you recommend visiting?

Las Vegas Outfit | PVC Plaid

How are you enjoying these outfit posts? Shall I do frequent ones like I have been doing? I really love doing them, even if the quality isn't always great. My huge Canon 700D is just far too big to lug around all the time. I think it adds a little twist to my blog anyway. Im not perfect, my pictures aren't perfect & my blog isn't perfect :)

Asos Black Crop Top | £8.00
Rokit Vintage Plaid Shirt | Alternatives | £15.00 - £40.00

Topshop PVC Skirt | Sold Out | Missguided Alternative | £19.99

Office Platform Heels | Sold Out | Alternative | £60.00
Chanel iPhone Case | £40.00

Las Vegas Outfit | BAD Bikini

Never ever ever ever in my life did I think I would have the confidence to post a picture ANYWHERE wearing a bikini. Whenever you see bikini pictures plastered all over the internet, the girls all look super toned, super amazing and super unrealistic. I had a moment of FUCK IT whilst I was away and decided that these pictures show that I am your average, everyday woman who is loving the skin she's in.

I think its so important for young girls to see in public all different body types, so here is mine. Cellulite, chunky thighs & stretch marks. I wonder if images like this will ever be on the cover of magazines?

Asos 'BAD' Bikini | On Sale | £10.50

Asos High Waisted Bikini Bottoms | £14.00

Floral Kimono | No Longer Available | Missguided Alternatives | £18.00 - £30.00

Las Vegas Outfit | Fresh Dungarees

I wanted Vegas to be an actual holiday. For the past three years, I have filmed a lookbook whilst I have been away, but this time around I just couldn't be bothered. My obsession with Instagram and taking quick outfit photos is increasingly growing & doing outfit posts are simple and easy for me. So many of my instagram and twitter followers ask me where I get my clothes from and are really interested in certain pieces. I thought that I would share this outfit with you as I think it is super cute. Unfortunately, the main item, the dungarees are actually from Rokit, so they are vintage and are a one off item, but I'm sure you will find some you like in the link below. 

Asos White Crop Top | £8.00

Rokit Vintage Dungarees | £15.00 - £40.00

Rokit Vintage Flannel Shirt | £12.00 - £40.00

Office White Lace Up Shoes | £65.00 (sold out, Vagabond alternatives)

I never thought I would see the day I would be wearing dungarees again. So 90s and surprisingly versatile. I can't wait to wear them on a night out.

Grace x

Las Vegas Part One

Last week I flew out to Las Vegas for a holiday/vacation and to celebrate my cousins 21st birthday. Here is part one of my photo diary. Enjoy :)

The first part of my holiday I saw Cirque at the Aria Hotel which was also the hotel we were staying at. They were incredible and I was literally speechless after. We were not allowed to film or take pictures unfortunately but if you ever get the chance to see any of their shows - please do. We then took a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon which was awesome but I suffer from motion sickness so I had to sleep for the most part haha, after I took my pictures obviously. My favourite bits of the first leg of my holiday was obviously the nutella crepes and the steak. THE STEAK WAS THE BEST STEAK I HAVE EVER HAD. Drools....

Stay tuned for part two!

Grace x