We all know I don't shy away from RL shit that women go through. From big boob problems, to fanny farting, I'm always up for talking about embarrassing things. The other day I was flicking through my travel posts and came across my photo diary from Portugal last year. It was a press trip with Curvy Kate and during said press trip, I got a bout of thrush (from pouring bath salts in our giant rooftop bath and drinking far too much alcohol lol) Reliving that hilarious yet itchy memory spurred me on to write this disgustingly honest post...
1. Using Food For Other Purposes
Dosing your vagina in M&S greek yogurt because thats all you've got in your flat to soothe your inflamed lips. (and because you cant be bothered to go to Tesco to buy Canasten.... again). Ugh. Stupid thrush.
2. 'Forgetting To Brush Your Teeth'
You wake up at 7am and realise your breath smells like someone has died. 'OH SHIT'. Thats because last night you were stuffing Cadbury Wholenut down your neck and downing Diet Coke because you had the worst.day.ever and yes.... You forgot to brush your teeth before you went to sleep. Sexy mama.
3. Not Wiping
You run into the toilet, pull your panties down and have the best pee of your life that you've been holding in for what felt like forever, only to realise theres no toilet roll. No probz babes. I can drip dry.
4. Watching Porn
You have a nice relaxing bath, put on your sexy pjs and slip into bed alone, with your laptop, browsing porn hub. A) you're horny as fuck but don't want to give up the goodies B) you're bored as fuck and watching Youtubers who you hate just isn't cutting it C) you plan to ride him like a cowgirl but you want to learn how..
5. Not Showering
Its Sunday which mean Netflix & chill (by chill I mean actually chill) and laze around festering all day. Shower on a Sunday? Naaaaahhhhhhhhhhh bruv.
6. Faking It
Because he's just SO.DAMN.HOT and has the potential to be Mr Right. Imagine telling him that he needs to cut his fingernails and he thrusts like a donkey? LOL LOL LOL.
7. Lying Out Of Jealousy
Telling all your friends how much of a fucking biatch the new girl is at work, when really, she's a total babe and you're a jealous little cow who needs to get her life together ASAP (we've all been there babes)
8. Pretending You've Got It Together
Getting home from work ABSOLUTELY starving and then realising you forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer. KILL ME NOW. So you decide to crack open a family sized bag of Doritos and dip because you cant afford to order another takeaway.
9. The Sniff Test
Things are getting a bit heated and just as his hands begin making way down to your vagina, panic steps in.. OMFG WHAT IF I SMELL. ITS SO HOT TODAY. I SHOWERED THIS MORING BUT NOW ITS 7PM. So you quickly revert to (in a sexy voice of course) 'babe, I just need to go to the toilet'. Before you know it your leg is on the bath, your nose is by your belly button and you're trying so damn hard to see if you smell weird. (now where the fuck are the baby wipes?).
10. You absolutely can relate to all of the above and now you want to die? LOL!
#GirlProblems
All of the bloody above! LOL
ReplyDelete
DeleteMy husband left me with 3 Children and went to stay with his Mistress whom i felt use a spell on him, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down. But all thanks goes to Dr Kasee, who i met online on one faithful day, as I was searching for tips to get my husband back home, I came across several testimonies about this particular man. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he help them to get pregnant,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he prayed to stop divorce and get a good paying job and so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Stella Kyes, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email (onimalovespell@gmail.com) After reading all these testimonies, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email (onimalovespell@gmail.com) and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever. Dr Kasee you are a gifted man and thank you for everything you had done in my life. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on email: ONIMALOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM and he will help you solve your problem
OMG!I swear I've been there before. It's hilarious because I always think I'm the ONLY one.
ReplyDelete
DeleteMy husband left me with 3 Children and went to stay with his Mistress whom i felt use a spell on him, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down. But all thanks goes to Dr Kasee, who i met online on one faithful day, as I was searching for tips to get my husband back home, I came across several testimonies about this particular man. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he help them to get pregnant,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he prayed to stop divorce and get a good paying job and so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Stella Kyes, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email (onimalovespell@gmail.com) After reading all these testimonies, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email (onimalovespell@gmail.com) and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever. Dr Kasee you are a gifted man and thank you for everything you had done in my life. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on email: ONIMALOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM and he will help you solve your problem
Haha this is BRILLIANT. Love every single one! xx
ReplyDeleteSam // What I Know Now
Lost. My. Shit. at this! Ahhahahahah!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant I can definitely relate! xx
ReplyDeleteHahahaha love it! 6. Has defo been me lately 😫
ReplyDeleteWow amazing how real keep it 100 percent love u
ReplyDelete
DeleteMy husband left me with 3 Children and went to stay with his Mistress whom i felt use a spell on him, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down. But all thanks goes to Dr Kasee, who i met online on one faithful day, as I was searching for tips to get my husband back home, I came across several testimonies about this particular man. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he help them to get pregnant,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he prayed to stop divorce and get a good paying job and so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Stella Kyes, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email (onimalovespell@gmail.com) After reading all these testimonies, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email (onimalovespell@gmail.com) and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever. Dr Kasee you are a gifted man and thank you for everything you had done in my life. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on email: ONIMALOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM and he will help you solve your problem
You're perfeeeeecccctttt!!!!!! This is hiarious, especially the sniff test and the greek yogurt bruh!
ReplyDeleteThis actually made me laugh cos its so true and so funny! hahaha! love this
ReplyDeleteI love this SO much paahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteNote before you read; this review is based on a true life story, feel free to read it all the way though.
ReplyDeleteDavid, my fiancé is the first man I fell in love with, I got my first kiss from him 22yeras. I gave him everything he desires thinking he would never hurt me even though I knew our love might not last forever because we were obsessed with each other which gradually contaminated our relationship. But I did think he wasn’t going to breakup with me one day because of his pronounced promises.
March 17th about 05:12am he broke up with me in a note, I woke up to see it on my bed. I was suppressed, I tried to stay strong at work but when I return home I cry myself to bed.
After some months he started flirting with strange girls and I was indeed jealous, though I tied other men, but I was never really over him. He is my first love and I have to get him back ASAP. My luck lead me to Dr. Wakina via his spiritual email dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com. I got help like others. Dr. Wakina through his love spell gave me a second chance to get back my fiancé. The impossible became possible after our new found love for each other became productive.
I’m proud to share this hoping it might help someone out there.
BEST AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER ONLINE TO HELP SAVE BROKEN MARRIAGE AND BROKEN RELATIONSHIP
ReplyDeleteAm Jerry miler, I live in London, and I’m happily married with a lovely wife and three children. I had a very big problem with my wife few months ago, to the extent that she left the house with our kids to her parents' for almost 5 months. All efforts to bring them back proved abortive. Friends and Family were all in concern and my very close mate gave me an advice concerning a spell caster, and he quote; “There’s someone who can handle your situation, he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spiritual matters, I searched for a spell caster on the internet, his advert was everywhere, i found his number and called him on his mobile number +2347052958531. Although I never believed in spell casting, but he convinced me and I had no choice than to follow his advice, because I never dream of losing my lovely wife and I was desperate. So I did all what he told me to do and i did. He told me that I’ll get my wife back in two days after the spell is completed. I was skeptical. He casted the spell for me and i was so anxious waiting to see or hear from her, until the second day when my wife called and said she was coming HOME…..It was like a joke to me!!! That’s how I got my family back through spiritual means and our relationship is now stronger than ever. One of the price I was asked to pay was to tell it to people around me that problems like this, can always be solved by Dr Ewan. And this is his email too if you wish to contact him and solve your problem too covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com , my advice to you out there is to visit this great Dr Ewan and tell him your problems. He's capable of handling anything spiritual and spell casting. Thanks a lot for saving my marriage. covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com. You can also add him up on watsapp on +2349057353987, you can also call him on his mobile number +2347052958531
Flipping love 😬 Because I thought I was the only one 😆😂
ReplyDeleteHow I Got My Ex Husband Back...........
ReplyDeleteI am Shannon by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address Makospelltemple@yahoo.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.Mako. His email: Makospelltemple@yahoo.com OR. his phone number: +2348108737816.
How I Got My Ex Husband Back...........
ReplyDeleteI am Shannon by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address Makospelltemple@yahoo.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.Mako. His email: Makospelltemple@yahoo.com OR. his phone number: +2348108737816.
How I Got My Ex Husband Back...........
ReplyDeleteI am Shannon by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address Makospelltemple@yahoo.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.Mako. His email: Makospelltemple@yahoo.com OR. his phone number: +2348108737816.
ReplyDeleteMy husband left me with 3 Children and went to stay with his Mistress whom i felt use a spell on him, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down. But all thanks goes to Dr Kasee, who i met online on one faithful day, as I was searching for tips to get my husband back home, I came across several testimonies about this particular man. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he help them to get pregnant,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he prayed to stop divorce and get a good paying job and so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Stella Kyes, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email (onimalovespell@gmail.com) After reading all these testimonies, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email (onimalovespell@gmail.com) and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever. Dr Kasee you are a gifted man and thank you for everything you had done in my life. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on email: ONIMALOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM and he will help you solve your problem